drink == empty

Whenever I am at parties I can't help but wishing that you could query people based on their metadata.

when I was younger it was a simple query

select * from girl g
where g.drunk = True
and g.drunkenness >= "finds me attractive enough to come home with me"
order by g.looks, g.drunkenness;

(needless to say that usually turned up len(resultSet)==0)

now that I am older (and happily married) it varies from night to night but it usually follows this general pattern (using django's orm now)

Person.objects.filter(life_interesting = True).distinct()
with a possible .filter(cats__isnull = False) or .filter(fake_boobs = True)

(this usually works out better)

but tonight I could only stand there wondering why my drinks kept disappearing faster than they should and wishing that I could hear what people were saying.